Learning to take my power back during difficult seasons

"Instead of asking, 'Why is this happening to me?' ask, 'What am I learning right now?'

— Caroline Myss

Looking back, I realise that one of the greatest gifts I've ever given myself was learning to choose my perspective.

Not because life was always a peach, but because I discovered early on that where I put my focus determined whether I felt light or heavy in my body. Keeping it light meant I could breathe more easily. Years later, Human Design simply gave language to something I had already been living.

As a little girl, I couldn't understand why people spent so much energy thinking about things they couldn't change.

Even then, I instinctively looked for a perspective that helped me feel lighter, stronger or more hopeful.

Later, the world called it "mindset."

For me, it simply became a way of living. A way to have more energy. A way to feel at home in my body.

My first tool was a diary.

As a teenager, I modelled the Bridget Jones books. Her way of cheering herself on and always pointing out what was actually working for her felt so light to me.

She was determined and gave herself full permission to mess things up at every turn (excuse my language!).

"Today I will take responsibility for my own life and start loving myself. I am lovely. I am marvellous. Oh God. Where's the Silk Cut?"

"I will not sulk about having no boyfriend, but develop inner poise and authority and a sense of self as a woman of substance, complete without a boyfriend."

What fascinated me wasn't the humour.

It was that she took responsibility for her life.

She owned her story.

Reading her diaries made me believe I could do the same. That I could write my way through difficult seasons instead of becoming trapped by them.

Whenever life felt overwhelming, I would grab my journal and simply start naming things.

Getting my thoughts onto paper helped me breathe again.

Little by little, the pieces naturally fell into perspective.

That practice stayed with me.

Over time, I started trusting the process more. Instead of trying to control life, I became more curious.

I began asking questions like:

"I wonder what I'm learning from this?"
"What's great about this that I can't yet see?"

And, sooner or later, an answer would always come.

Over the years, books became my second companions.

Not because I wanted more information, but because I felt lighter whenever I found a sentence that resonated deeply in my heart.

I was always searching for a perspective that would help me move from feeling powerless to feeling empowered.

As I grew older, different authors arrived exactly when I needed them.

When I struggled to get pregnant, I found Eckhart Tolle.

One sentence stayed with me: "Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it."

Instead of seeing the waiting as punishment, I began to see it as preparation.

When my marriage felt difficult, Byron Katie reminded me that transformation begins with the only person I can change: myself.

I remember asking myself: "What am I not seeing? What is this relationship trying to teach me?"

I even developed a mantra: The more difficult my relationship feels, the faster my personal growth.

Everything began to change.

Gary Zukav reminded me that when we radiate love and compassion, we receive more love and compassion.

When I wanted to understand healing more deeply, Caroline Myss opened an entirely new way of seeing the emotional lessons behind the chakras.

Each author offered me something different.

A new perspective.

Looking back, I can see that this became my practice.

Whenever life became difficult, I searched for the perspective that helped me reclaim my power.

Years later, Human Design helped me understand why this came so naturally to me.

It showed me that my mind naturally looks for where power is, and where it isn't.

More importantly, it taught me something that completely changed my coaching.

My strategy isn't everyone's strategy.

For years, I handed my favourite books to everyone I met, convinced they would change their lives just as they had changed mine.

Some people loved them. Many forgot to return them.

Eventually I realised that what transforms me isn't necessarily what transforms someone else.

That insight made me a better coach.

It taught me to honour each person's unique path instead of expecting them to walk mine.

There's one final lesson I had to learn.

Perspective is incredibly powerful. But it is not a substitute for feeling.

For many years, I became so good at finding the positive that I sometimes moved on before my body had caught up.

Eventually, my body let me know.

It needed something different. Sometimes I needed to cry.

Sometimes I needed to walk, stretch, breathe or simply sit quietly.

My body needed permission to feel before my mind could genuinely move forward.

Today, I still reach for my diary whenever life feels uncertain.

I still search for the sentence that brings me back to myself.

Not because it changes what has happened.

But because it changes how I meet it.

And that has changed everything.

My question to you Soulmate is:

When life feels difficult, do you have a habit of consciously choosing a perspective that helps you reconnect with your own power?

I'd love to hear your reflections.

About Tiina

I help women entrepreneurs find success and fulfilment by being themselves.

Through Human Design, mindset coaching and practical self-discovery tools, I help women reconnect with their inner compass and trust who they are.

If you'd like to explore your own path together, you're welcome to book a 1:1 session.