How not getting pregnant became the best manifesting school of my life

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"I expand in abundance, success and love every day, as I inspire those around me to do the same."

— Gay Hendricks, The Big Leap

As a woman in business, you probably know how frustrating it feels to work and work, yet never quite see your business take off.

You read another book. Invest in another course. Refine your strategy. Work even harder.

…and somehow the result is that you feel more exhausted, less alive and further away from the success you're working so hard to create.

Sound familiar? Or am I reading your journal?

I've lived this pattern more than once.

In fact, looking back at forty-three, I'd almost say... it's the story of my life.

For years I believed that if I simply worked harder, life would eventually reward me.

But life kept teaching me the same lesson.

Receiving more has very little to do with working harder.

It has everything to do with believing you are worthy of receiving.

I see this pattern in business all the time.

Many of us women are already functioning almost entirely from our masculine energy.

Planning. Achieving. Controlling. Fixing. Learning. Doing.

We become fabulous at creating. But much less brilliant at receiving.

During my years as a reflexologist, I noticed the same pattern in women's bodies.

Year after year, woman after woman arrived carrying enormous tension through the right side of her body.

The side traditionally associated with doing, giving, carrying responsibility and constantly moving forward.

I think our bodies were expressing something very true about our authentic desires, while our minds kept score of what was expected of us.

Ironically, my greatest lesson about receiving didn't begin in business. It began when I was twenty-eight and trying to become a mother.

I had my dream job as a brand strategist. A loving husband. A magical wedding. A honeymoon. My dream home.

Honestly, it felt like I had stepped into the ending of a romantic comedy. Exactly the kind of ending the little girl in me had always dreamed about.

One beautiful summer day my parents were visiting our island cottage.

My mum looked around and said, "You must know how incredibly lucky you are?"

Instead of feeling grateful. I felt guilty. I felt like being punched in the solar plexus.

I knew I was very lucky. A little too well. I never expected to be this lucky.

Maybe this was it. Maybe I had already received my limit.

Maybe asking for one more dream was asking for too much.

I remember wanting to answer, "Do you know how lucky you were to have children?"

I felt the words bottle up in my throat.

Years later, I recognised this as part of my own mother wound.

Some unconscious part of me believed that if I received more than my mother had, I might somehow lose my connection to her and my lineage of women.

If I already had love...

a beautiful marriage...

meaningful work...

financial security...

how could I possibly deserve to also have a baby?

Somewhere inside me lived a belief that If I received more than my mother did, I’d feel guilty.

It felt safer to fit in and ask for less.

Perhaps having less meant staying more connected to my roots.

I see this dynamic in women all the time.

Sometimes it's easier to bond through struggle than through celebration.

We know how to trauma bond. What if we also learned how to celebration bond?

To celebrate our own success and receiving without making ourselves smaller.

To openly receive more without feeling guilty.

To allow someone else's abundance to expand our own sense of possibility.

Consciously, I was doing everything I could to become pregnant.

Tracking. Planning. Trying. Doing everything "right."

But unconsciously another part of me whispered,

"You already have enough."

"It is not ok to ask for more."

Looking back, I can finally hear the voice that was quietly running the show.

You deserve this much...but not THAT much.

Years later I discovered there was a name for this pattern. Some call it the mother wound.

Gay Hendricks describes it as our “upper limit problem”—the invisible ceiling that makes receiving more feel unsafe.

This pattern also followed me into business.

When my reflexology practice became successful, creating an online business suddenly felt strangely uncomfortable.

A familiar voice whispered,

"You've already had your lucky break."

"Wanting more feels greedy."

It was never really about business.

It was about worthiness.

Today I honestly think supporting women through fertility became one of the greatest gifts for the work I do with women entrepreneurs.

Because whether we're longing for a child...

financial success...

a thriving business...

a loving relationship...

or simply a life that feels more like our own...

our desires are sacred.

They aren't something to suppress or feel guilty about.

They are often the pathways leading us towards our purpose.

The deeper question is often the same.

How good are you willing to let life get?

Not because you've struggled enough.

Not because you've finally proved yourself.

Not because you've earned it.

Simply because you already deserve to receive.

My question to you

Where in your life are you still holding yourself back because receiving more feels uncomfortable?

I'd love to hear your reflections.

About Tiina

I help women entrepreneurs find success and fulfilment by being themselves.

Through Human Design, mindset coaching and practical self-discovery tools, I help women reconnect with their inner compass and trust who they are.

If you'd like to explore your own path together, you're welcome to book a 1:1 session.