22 years ago today, I met my husband.❤️

Since then, he has been my greatest mirror.

Not because our relationship is always easy,

but because it has consistently invited me to grow my emotional consciousness.

He’s my true growth partner. 🪴

Over the years, I’ve developed a constructive way of meeting #conflict so that we don’t just “resolve it” - we come out of it stronger and more trusting.🙏🏻

Ester Perel once said something that made an impact on me:

🔑 Don’t look for your keys where the light 💡 is turned on. Instead try to look where you’ve actually dropped them.

In conflict, the “obvious visibility” is in trying to argue who is the biggest victim. We start blaming and complaining… 

It’s fast. It’s familiar.

So instead, I start here:

1️⃣ I turn inwards to notice how I feel - without acting it out

• I catch myself where I hold on to the role of victim- stay powerless, unseen, or like a little girl waiting for a permission to feel valued 

• I give myself the attention I was about to demand from him

Only then do I turn to curiosity.

2️⃣ I often look at our Human Design charts

and remember something essential:

✨ We are meant to experience the same moment through different lenses.

I soften and appreciate his way of seeing and being in the world. I feel compassion for the pressures and emotional charges he’s carrying.

And I recommit to owning my own gifts fully instead of needing others to have them as well or validate them for me.

3️⃣ When I’m no longer triggered, I ask questions that reopen intimacy:

• What belief is he holding that feels heavy or sad?

• What was he really trying to say?

• Where did we misunderstand each other’s meaning?

And life moves forward

with more trust

more safety

and more love.❤️ 

I wish this for everyone. Especially because I know how painful and life energy sucking a conflict can be and how often it erupts during holidays when stress finally has space to surface.❤️

If you want support rising above these dynamics

with clarity, compassion, and self-leadership,

✨ you’re welcome to book a session with me!

#relationships #emotionalintelligence #consciouspartnership #humandesign